As my mom says I didn’t want to born.. It was hard to convince me to come to the world. A week ago, I’ve started to celebrate my birth with a party, this week I’ve spent my days with my close friends and I’ll celebrate my birth till next Sunday! This is an open party for every single person in my life from all around the world, send me your positive energy! 🙂
|Look at that beauty! Her name is Wolf, and I love her so much!|
When I was 3ish, I’ve fell down from my lovely aunt’s apartment’s balcony to the ground (4th floor), everyone thought that I was dead, but I didn’t even get any scar, blood, etc.. There was a cherry tree, they say it saved my life; and look at the coincidence that the tree was supposed to be cut the next day, I was so lucky..
Years later, when I grown up a little, I realized that God saved my life with a miracle, and give me a chance to live, with a form of this poor Cherry Tree. Did I say poor because it was cut? No, I shouldn’t say that: it saved a little huge life! It was a big job Tree, you were great, however your end was, you were great.. so.. I thought there is a reason that I’m living. It’s not just fun the life, there has to be a purpose: what was my purpose? I didn’t know, I was seriously looking for the answer, I was interviewing my friends, teachers to get the answer with a note-book writing their answers. Then I went with the flow, I’ve grown up a lot, and forgot my questions. Till New York. Now I have my questions back with the new ones! 🙂
I’m thankful. I’m enjoying every single seconds of my life. If I’m laughing, I laugh real and deep, it comes from inside of me, and I’m happy. If I’m sad, and crying, I really feel it, and that give me the happiness that I feel sadness and live it. I’m alive. This is life! And people say life is not fair, who knows the life’s rules, it’s a very complicated equation that our brains can’t solve. So the point is, I’m alive, I’m enjoying, and, something missing.. something.
Everyone have a role in the world, and we are connected each other somehow. I’m looking around when I’m walking, I’m smiling, watching, listening..
What I’m saying is: I don’t know. I don’t want to go on my life with the flow. Is this correct to say like that? You wake up everyday, you do some work, some friends, having feelings and then die. Die in a direction with the flow, not in a way that you wanted to. How many of us live the life we want to? I don’t want to look at the mirror one day when I’m really old, and asking what have I done these years?!
|A view from Brooklyn to Manhattan in my real birthday, 2011|
I’m not that little same person as I was 18! Even my mom surprised to hear my age.. my cutey brothers remind me to think about how old I am.. Em.. I’m celebrating my birthday for two weeks, maybe because I’m freaking out to be old in a way that I don’t want, and I’m getting old. Time pass so fast, we can’t control it, but it seems like we can fill our life with high quality moments. That’s why I’m happy and thankful.
Do I sound complicated? I am!
I’m in New York, with the flow I chose. I thank everybody in my life, that you created me as I’m now: My parents, daddy celebrated my birthday this year at first in my life cause he saw the facebook notification that his daughter has a birthday and he said I’m the best creature in the world, and still his little baby. I don’t remember him when I was little, he was always busy, but still, I didn’t know how to answer, I’m not used to hear these kind of things. Mommy who has the best heart ever, brothers who tells me I’m old. My friends!!!!! I love you all. And thanks for your wishes.
and thanks a lot to you, Tree.